What Does That Say?

Reading signs and menus that are poorly translated is an amusing passtime here in Vallarta. I thought I'd seen some of the best until I read these:

In a Bucharest Hotel Lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the nest day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.


In a Yugoslavian Hotel:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

In a Japanese Hotel:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

In an Austrian Hotel catering to skiiers:
Not to preambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.

On the menu of a Polish Hotel:
Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.

Outside a Hong Kong Dress shop:
Ladies have fits upstairs.

In a Zurich Hotel:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.